How to Work with Your Inner Parts with Parts Work Therapy and Get Unstuck

If you’ve ever felt like part of you is moving forward while another part is holding you back, you’ve already experienced inner conflict. Maybe you deeply want to set boundaries but freeze when the moment comes. Or you long for closeness with others, yet something inside pushes people away.

In our previous post, we explored why we get stuck and how different parts of us—formed by past experiences and traumas—can pull us in opposing directions. But understanding your internal system is just the first step. The real work begins when you start to recognize and engage with your parts in a new way—one that leads to healing, clarity, and lasting change.

At Creating Space Therapy, we use Parts Work therapy, including Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Ego State Therapy, to help clients navigate this process. While it can be challenging, learning to relate to your parts with curiosity and compassion can transform your relationship with yourself. Here’s how to begin.

How to Recognize and Work with Your Parts with Parts Work Therapy

Recognizing and working with your parts is not easy. Many of us have spent years—sometimes decades—fighting, suppressing, or outright hating certain parts of ourselves. The part that lashes out in anger, the part that numbs out with distractions, the part that keeps us small and afraid—these parts often feel like the enemy. When we see how they’ve held us back or caused pain in our lives, it’s natural to want to get rid of them as quickly as possible.

But healing doesn’t come from banishing these parts. It comes from understanding them. And that’s the hardest part—learning to meet these parts with curiosity instead of judgment, with compassion instead of resentment.

1. Notice When You Feel Pulled in Opposite Directions

   The next time you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or reactive, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself:

   • What are the different voices or feelings inside me right now?

   • Does one part of me want something while another part resists?

   • Do I feel like I keep bouncing between two opposite urges?

   Often, our parts show up as emotional reactions, inner dialogue, or even body sensations. You might notice an anxious, panicked feeling when trying something new (a part that fears failure), or a critical voice telling you that you’re not doing enough (a part that believes pushing you harder will keep you from being rejected). These conflicts are clues that parts of you are struggling to be heard.

2. Get Curious About Each Part’s Intentions (Even When It Feels Impossible)

   Curiosity is key to Parts Work, but it doesn’t come naturally—especially with parts we dislike. If you’ve spent years resenting your inner critic, your avoidance, or your emotional outbursts, shifting into curiosity may feel unnatural, even infuriating. You may think, Why would I want to get to know a part that has made my life harder?

   But here’s the truth: Every part of you exists for a reason. Even the ones that cause pain. They all formed to protect you at some point in your life. The self-doubt, the perfectionism, the emotional shutdown—these weren’t random; they were strategies for survival.

   
   

   When you feel resistance toward a part, try asking:

   • What is this part trying to protect me from?

   • When did this part first show up in my life?

   • What would happen if this part didn’t do its job?

   
   

   Even the harshest, most frustrating parts of you are carrying old burdens. Their methods may not be helpful anymore, but their intentions often were.

3. Work Toward the 8 C’s of Self-Leadership

   To truly create healing, it helps to embody Self-energy—the core, grounded part of you that carries these qualities:

   • Curiosity – Instead of judging your parts, can you be open to learning about them?

   • Compassion – Can you recognize that even your most difficult parts are carrying pain?

   • Calmness – Can you slow down and approach these parts without fear or urgency?

   • Clarity – Can you see each part for what it is, rather than what it feels like in the moment?

   • Confidence – Can you trust that healing is possible, even if you don’t know how yet?

   • Courage – Can you face the discomfort of meeting parts you’d rather ignore?

   • Creativity – Can you explore new ways to engage with your parts instead of reacting?

   • Connectedness – Can you work toward internal harmony, seeing your parts as part of a larger whole?

At first, you may not feel like you embody these qualities—and that’s okay. Many people start this process feeling anything but calm, curious, or compassionate toward themselves. This is why it’s a practice, not a one-time realization. The more you connect with your Self-energy, the more you can show up for your parts in a way that fosters healing.

Healing starts when you stop fighting yourself and start listening.

This Work Is Hard—You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Working with your parts is a long, often challenging process. Some parts will resist change, some will be afraid to step aside, and others may not trust that healing is possible. That’s normal. This work is not about forcing transformation—it’s about building relationships within yourself, and that takes patience.

For many people, this process is too overwhelming to navigate alone—not because they’re weak, but because trauma and emotional wounds were never meant to be healed in isolation. Having a skilled therapist to help guide you through this work can make all the difference.

At Creating Space Therapy, we specialize in Parts Work therapy, integrating IFS, EMDR, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed care to help clients work through deep inner conflicts. If you feel stuck in patterns of self-sabotage, emotional overwhelm, or self-criticism, we can help you find relief and healing.

Let's Connect:

Call us today at 630.601.3460 or visit our website to schedule a free consultation with Thelma Razo, one of our expert parts work therapists. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Healing happens in connection. Whether through therapy, self-care, or community, support is available. One step at a time, you can move toward feeling more grounded and resilient.